Verbal Abuse Vs Domestic Violence
Verbal Abuse Vs Domestic Violence
Modesty
Princess Janet
I remember growing up, whenever I offend my mum and she wants to discipline me, she seldoms uses cane rather she uses the words of her mouth. She corrects me with love by sitting me down and talking sense into my head and her words usually hits me like a spear. I usually wished she can just beat me with cane rather than chastising me with words because those words hurt more than cane. And her positive words really changed my life. 

There is power in our words, and we can either use it for good or for evil, we can either use it to edify or destroy, we can either use it to correct in love or abuse.  James 3:5-10 (NLT) says "...the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny sparks can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is like a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire....people can tame all kind of animals....

But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and father and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing comes pouring out of the same mouth....this is not right!"  Both men and women have what I call verbal power, but women have more of it, and some use it in the wrong way. They curse and abuse their husbands when he is wrong or during arguments. You are killing your husbands emotionally and psychologically 

When you do this. You make him feel less of who he is and you disrespect him. God has given you this verbal power so as to build your husband up and encourage him. Use your tongue for positive speech and you will reap positive results, and use your tongue for negative speech and you will reap negative results like domestic violence.  If you see the way some women curse and abuse their husband, you will pity the man and cry for him.  Some women are the cause of their own problems, they use their tongue to set their husband on fire and when he pounce on them and beat them they complain.  But am I trying to justify domestic violence? of course not. 

There is no justifiable reason for you to beat your wife as a man. Even if she uses are verbal power negatively, you are expected to use your muscular power positively.  Some husband will still beats their wife even if she is as meek, quiet and gentle as a sheep. Some women who are submissive, prayerful and who uses their verbal power positively still suffers from domestic violence, so therefore verbal abuse is not the only cause of domestic violence.  Only a foolish man will raise up his hands to beat the woman that God said you are one flesh with, because beating her equals to beating yourself. 

There is a reason why you are called the groom on your wedding day, as the groom you are expected to cultivate your bride to what you want her to be. So if your bride is still using her verbal power negatively it is because you have failed to cultivate her to use it positively.

 A woman can either be your weakness or your strength, it depends on who you make her to be, that power is entirely yours to use.  Many men uses anger as an excuse for domestic violence, and I often wonder why they didn't beat up their boss in the office that got them angry. The police got you angry on your way back from work but instead you smile and even gave them a tip so that they can let you pass, but when you get home you transfer all your anger and frustration on your wife and children.

If you don't know where to pour out your anger and frustration, I will advice you to go register in a gym where you can punch a punching bag or buy a punching bag at home.  Women let your home be a safe haven for your husbands, a place he looks forward to be after the days stress and frustration, a place of peace and Joy, not a place of constant nagging and complains.  But does this means there won't be disagreement and quarrels between you too?  Of course not, disagreements are bound to surface once in a while. So take this simple advice.  Don't ever get angry at the same time. 

If your husband is the one angry and ranting, just keep quiet as the wife and allow him calm down. And if it is your wife that is angry and nagging, just keep quiet as the husband and allow her calm down. Two wrongs cannot make a right. Use your word to encourage each other always, never say anything negative about your spouse.  Domestic violence is not affecting women alone; many men have been beaten and killed by their wives too.  Verbal abuse doesn't affect men alone too, some men can also abuse women verbally rather than beating them. 

Domestic violence crushes and kills the body while verbal abuse crushes the soul. Let's say no to verbal abuse and domestic violence.  Finally husbands, "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives.  Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life.
Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered."1peter3:7.  

Your wife is called a weaker vessel so that you can be her strength, nurture her, cherish her and protect her, these are some of your roles. Don't use your strength to trample on her or beat her.  Finally wives, "Wives, respect and obey your husbands in the same way.....Sarah obeyed Abraham. She called him her master. You are  her children if you do what is right and are not afraid of trouble." 1peter 3:1a
 
  Shalom!!!
Comments
Share this post
More Posts
Sexual Purity
Say No To Premarital Sex
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Premarital sex is a destiny destroyer
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Dear Virgin
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
HOW TO RUN A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT SEX
Princess Janet
2019-04-03
Relationship
Break Up
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
Husband Not Atm
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
Is love enough?
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
Ask questions?
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
Facebook Love (E-Love)
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Can I kiss my fiancée before we get married ?
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Your no sex relationship doesnt have to be boring
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
What age can you advice a lady to start a relationship
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Submission Is Not A Curse
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
A Three Braided Cord
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Modesty
Que Sera Sera
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
Verbal Abuse Vs Domestic Violence
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Communication in Relationship
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Character and Wisdom In Marriage
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Dear women!
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Marriage
Inter-Tribal Marriage
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
can you marry a sister that is richer than you ?
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
A Perfect Marriage
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Dear husbands
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
SALIENT LESSON FROM THE MOVIE: FIREPROOF
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Husband The Spiritual Head
Princess Janet
2019-04-03
Princess Janet
Princess Janet is an aspiring marriage counselor, relationship coach, inspirational writer, story writer, blogger, teacher of the word of God, a petroleum geoscientist by profession, a researcher and lecturer in one of the foremost institution in Nigeria. She is also the author of the novel called Jasmine that have inspired many people across the country.
princessjanet2019@gmail.com