Spiritual Covering
Relationship
Princess Janet
Do you know that one of the responsibilities of being the head of your home as a man, is being the Spiritual head of your home.
There is an enormous amount of authority and anointing that you can command spiritually on your family just because you are the head.
Many believers are not aware of this, and hence many homes are under the attack of the enemy.
One of the reasons for many divorce and separation cases today especially among so called Christians is because the home has no spiritual covering.
As the spiritual head you serve as a spiritual covering on your family.
The devil is also trying hard to make sure men don't fill their position as the spiritual head, hence there won't be spiritual covering over the home.
I remember reading a Twitter story of a man who told his wife not to go for an appointment on a particular day, the wife disobeyed and went. She was hypnotized and kidnapped on the way and it was the prayer of the husband over the phone that set her free. As a man, if it was your wife in that situation will you be able to set her free, are you close to God enough to do that.
But how do you want to function as a spiritual head when you can't even pray.
How do you want to advocate for your family when all you do is eat and sleep.
How do you want to function as a spiritual head when there is no family altar in your home.
Many men have relegated their spiritual responsibility to their wives, which is very wrong.
Men wake up, enough of the slumbering.
Wake up to your spiritual responsibilities.
Pray and fast for your family.
Set up a spiritual altar of prayer in your home.
Just like Christ advocates for his church, you also need to advocate for your home.
Often times you see people especially women honoring men of God and Pastors, more than their spouse.
What people honor in Pastors and Men of God is the anointing and authority that they carry.
If you become the spiritual head you are called to be as a man, there is a way your wife and children will honor that anointing and authority you carry too.
I yearn to see Christian homes where the men are the spiritual head, using their spiritual authority to protect his home.
I yearn to see Christian homes where the men are the spiritual head, teaching and nurturing their family in the way of the lord.
I yearn to see Men as Priest, Prophet and Pastor of their homes.
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©Princess Janet 2020.
More Posts
Sexual Purity
Say No To Premarital Sex
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
We live in a generation where sex and immorality is the order of the day. Sex is promoted and advertised everyday directly or indirectly, we have channels like BBNAIJA airing on the TV which promotes moral decadence and sexual immorality. Even the advertisement of ordinary toothpaste indirectly promotes sex with the revealing clothes they will wear. But because everyone is having sex before marriage doesn't make it right.
They say majority carries the vote, but that is not the case here, as a Christian you need to be different and stand out for God. Ephesians 5:3 Sex was created by God to be enjoyed only in marriage; it is a form of intimacy for married couples. Engagement doesn’t equate to marriage, that he said he loves you doesn’t mean you are married, that he promised to marry you doesn't equate to marriage.
You are not married until he has paid your dowry, and he has taken you to the altar and both of you are declared Husband and wife. Premarital sex and extra marital sex are not just sins against God but sins against your body, against your spouse (if you are married) and future spouse (if you are unmarried) 1Corinthian 6:15,18-20.
Though God created sex for a good reason, the devil is now using sex as a tool to destroy many souls and condemning them to hell. Revelation 21:8 God's plan for us is to be virgins till we get married irrespective of whether you are a man or woman. Though there is no physical proof of a male virginity, but you can't deceive God, he knows those who are pure sexually, he knows those who are obedient to his word. The consequences of premarital sex cannot be overemphasized.
They include abortion (you become a murderer), HIV/AIDS, and other STD, death (both physical and spiritual), lost destiny and glory (remember the story of Samson), and so on.
Many are not even scared of pregnancy or STD anymore, since we have condoms that can prevent it. But you should be scared of another type of STD (Sexually Transmitted Demons), this type of STD cannot be prevented by condoms. Ladies you are more valuable than diamond and rubies, so stop selling your body for money and material things.
It doesn't matter if you have the beauty of Esther, or the leadership skills of Deborah, plus the dedication spirit of Ruth, if you lack the discipline of Virgin Mary, your destiny will be destroyed like that of Dinah. Young men, your sperms are far too valuable to be deposited in a wrong vessel or to be flushed down the toilet. Even though there is no proof of your virginity, God wrote Proverb 5:3-5, 6:27-29, 32-33, 7:26-27 just for you.
Fornication is a sin for all, you young men are not left out. It doesn't matter if you are as faithful as Abraham, as wise and rich as Solomon, as devoted to God's work as Moses, and as prayerful as Elijah, if you lack the discipline of Joseph you will not live to fulfill your destiny like Samson.
It is not too late to come to Jesus my brethren. Jesus is still in the business of washing away your sin, he doesn't care how terrible your past is, and just come as you are and he will make you a brand new person. Invite Jesus into your life today, ask him to come and be your lord and personal savior.
Now that you have accepted Jesus, this is the right time to make that covenant of sexual purity with God, whether you have fallen into premarital sex or you are still a Virgin, just tell God right now "I refuse to have sex before marriage, I will wait till it is right, give me your grace to be sexually pure oh lord".
Congratulations ladies and gentlemen welcome to a new life of sexual purity. Now that you have made up your mind to be sexually pure, you need to know how to avoid falling into temptations of premarital sex again. Fill your heart with God's word daily; develop a close relationship with God. Joshua 1:8
Cut ties with your former boyfriend/girlfriend, and don't be involved in ungodly relationships again. Don't visit the opposite sex alone, if you must visit an opposite sex for a good reason, make sure you don't go alone and don't go at night.
Stop wearing provocative dresses that can make you become victim of rape, or make others fall into temptation. Matthew 5:28, Proverb 7:10 Avoid the likes of kissing, smooching and other romance, they are meant to be enjoyed in marriage alone. Proverb5:18-19, 1Thessalonian 5:22 Stop watching pornography; instead fill your heart with God's word.
For whatever you watch is what will fill your heart, and from your heart comes immorality and all evil ways. Mark 7:21-23, Psalm 119:37 Make friends with people of like minds, people who have the same belief of sexual purity like you; they will encourage you and help you stand firm.1Corinthian 15:33 In conclusion, Sex is sweet, but it will sting you if you taste it at the wrong time.
Wait till you are married brothers and sisters, nobody has ever died because they didn’t have sex, but many are dead and in hell today because of premarital sex.
Shalom!!!
We live in a generation where sex and immorality is the order of the day.
Premarital sex is a destiny destroyer
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
You met her in the library this afternoon, took her
for lunch and by evening you have already slept with her. You are feeling like
a 'DON', like someone who just achieved a great feat.
You bragged about it to
your friends and you tell them how cheap the lady was. While in reality, you were the cheap one, you
just lost your glory and destiny in the laps of Delilah.
The lady you describe as cheap is not just
any lady but a demon on Mission. And while you were bragging to your friend,
she already got promoted in the marine kingdom for a mission well
accomplished. Premarital sex is a
destiny destroyer; FLEE from it before it destroys you.
Shalom!!!
Premarital sex is a destiny destroyer
Dear Virgin
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
It is good that you are a Virgin and that you were disciplined enough to say No to sex before marriage, I really commend you and am sure God is happy with you. But to think because you are a Virgin then others who aren't are less human or inferior is outright nonsense. To be a Virgin is one thing, to be sexually pure is another thing and to be a Virgin, sexually pure with Godly character is the utmost.
You feel so proud and pompous because you are a Virgin and you have told yourself that you won't marry anyone unless he/she is a Virgin too. This is a rule that may lead you into trouble. For there are many who will lie to you and fake their virginity, for there are many virgins who are lesbians , some virgins are not even born again they just happened to be a Virgin because they are moralist.
This post is not to discourage virginity in any way, because virginity is good and its advantage is numerous. But to base your marital choice on whether he/she is a Virgin is on called for. For Every sinner has a past and a glorious future in Christ. Many lost their virginity not because they were wayward, some lost it as a child even before they could know the meaning and important of virginity, some were abused as a child, some were raped as a teenager and some even gave it away with a price (prostitutes).
Whatever the case may be, once he or she is a believer, then he/she is a clean and new person before God, and hence a regenerated Virgin. Then who are you to call someone that is clean unclean, who are you to judge anyone based on their past. God used Virgin Mary in the bible the same way he used Harlot Rahab, both were women in the earthly lineage of Christ Jesus.
So instead of focusing on whether he/she is a Virgin or not, focus on whether he/she is regenerated, focus on whether he/she is God's will for you, focus on what God is saying. Stop majoring on the minor (virginity) while minoring on the major (God's will). So drop that 'virginity pride' now before it drops you into a miserable marriage, for virginity is not a criteria for a successful marriage.
Shalom!!!
Dear Virgin
HOW TO RUN A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT SEX
Princess Janet
2019-04-03
Oh yes! I believe it is possible.
But did I just hear you say it is difficult? Yeah it is a bit difficult (I won't lie to you) especially when you feel this strong adrenaline whenever you are with the person you love. It is not easy to run a relationship without sex, but God's grace is sufficient to help us through alongside our strong determination to please God. Why should we run our relationship without sex? I mean we need to know the reason before we can begin that journey of no sex till marriage, don't you think so? Here are some reasons we should run our relationship without sex? 1. Sex is exclusively designed by God to be enjoyed and explored only in marriage. 2. It pleases God that our bed should be undefiled before marriage. Hebrew 13: 4. 3. God commanded us to flee from every sexual immorality. 1 Corinthians 6:18. 4. It is the best thing for us and our relationship. You might ask; how is it the best thing for us? There are several ingredients that are needed to make a cake; we need flour, sugar, baking powder, butter, egg and so on. And then after mixing all these ingredients in the right proportion, we bake it, and then we have our cake either the velvet or the chocolate flavor. Then finally you can add the icing sugar as decoration to the cake.Relationship is just like these cake ingredients and processes;
The flour might be likened to deep communication, communication that binds you together and makes you best of friends. The sugar might be the spiritual, intellectual and emotional compatibility. The egg might be the trust, respect, and honesty. The butter might represent the love and understanding that you have for each other. The icing sugar on top of the cake can represent Sex and other form of sexual activities that brings physical intimacy and deep bonding. All these ingredients make a relationship fantastic and fabulous and if one is missing there might be a problem. If you know how to make a cake, you will know that having the icing sugar (sex) without the flour (friendship and communication), the sugar (compatibility), the egg (trust, respect and honesty) and the butter (love and understanding), you will agree with me that you won't have a cake to eat or deliver. So also it is for a relationship. A relationship that is started with sex and physical intimacy might fail to develop friendship, trust, communication, respect, understanding...and without all these there is no relationship at all. Just like the mixture of flour + egg + butter + sugar + baking powder gives us cake, and then the icing sugar is the last stage that beautifies the cake, so also sex is the last stage that is meant to spice up a relationship that has succeeded into marriage. When you put the cart (sex) before the horse (other ingredients), your relationship might fail. Okay, Enough of why we shouldn’t have sex till we are married. I know you might all have heard a lot about WHY we shouldn't have sex in marriage but little about HOW we can achieve it. Well just chill and continue reading, you might learn one or two things. If there is one area where it feels the devil is always winning, it is the area of sex before marriage. And if there is also one area where our body and entire system is screaming out loud to disobey God even when we know His instructions, it is the area of sex. So how can we run a relationship without sex? 1. The battle begins in your mind. You can’t stop birds from flying over your head, but you can stop them from perching on your head. Sometimes you can't stop your mind from thinking about sex, but you can reduce it by watching what you feed your mind with. You can’t keep watching pornography, and then hope to stop thinking sex, it will be almost impossible for you. Your mind is the first place the devil needs to conquer if he wants you to fall into sexual temptations so guard your heart jealously, don’t give the devil a chance. Invest the time you use to watch films in reading the bible or a book that edifies your spirit man. 2. Learn to manage your sexual desire. Sexual desires are totally normal, as long as you have blood running through your veins, you will continue to have this urge. But you must learn to control it rather than letting it control you. Sometimes we might ask; why did God give us sexual urges when He knew we should not have sex until we get married? I mean why can't God just switch the sexual urges off until the wedding night instead of allowing us go through the stress of controlling it? I have asked this question a number of times, I don't know if I am the only one? But God gave us sexual urges so that we can desire to get married one day, and He also gave us these urges so that we can learn to control it as single because the self-control that we develop as a single will also help a long way in marriage to curb adultery. 3. Have an accountability partner. In fighting the temptations of premarital sex, we need to know we can't do it alone. An accountability partner is someone you can be accountable to, a mature Christian friend, a mentor, your sister or brother, anyone reliable that you totally trust, someone who believes in sexual purity or someone that hasDo you even think it is possible to run a relationship without sex?Oh yes! I believe it is possible.
Relationship
Spiritual Covering
Princess Janet
2020-12-20
Do you know that one of the responsibilities of being the head of your home as a man, is being the Spiritual head of your home.
There is an enormous amount of authority and anointing that you can command spiritually on your family just because you are the head.
Many believers are not aware of this, and hence many homes are under the attack of the enemy.
One of the reasons for many divorce and separation cases today especially among so called Christians is because the home has no spiritual covering.
As the spiritual head you serve as a spiritual covering on your family.
The devil is also trying hard to make sure men don't fill their position as the spiritual head, hence there won't be spiritual covering over the home.
I remember reading a Twitter story of a man who told his wife not to go for an appointment on a particular day, the wife disobeyed and went. She was hypnotized and kidnapped on the way and it was the prayer of the husband over the phone that set her free. As a man, if it was your wife in that situation will you be able to set her free, are you close to God enough to do that.
But how do you want to function as a spiritual head when you can't even pray.
How do you want to advocate for your family when all you do is eat and sleep.
How do you want to function as a spiritual head when there is no family altar in your home.
Many men have relegated their spiritual responsibility to their wives, which is very wrong.
Men wake up, enough of the slumbering.
Wake up to your spiritual responsibilities.
Pray and fast for your family.
Set up a spiritual altar of prayer in your home.
Just like Christ advocates for his church, you also need to advocate for your home.
Often times you see people especially women honoring men of God and Pastors, more than their spouse.
What people honor in Pastors and Men of God is the anointing and authority that they carry.
If you become the spiritual head you are called to be as a man, there is a way your wife and children will honor that anointing and authority you carry too.
I yearn to see Christian homes where the men are the spiritual head, using their spiritual authority to protect his home.
I yearn to see Christian homes where the men are the spiritual head, teaching and nurturing their family in the way of the lord.
I yearn to see Men as Priest, Prophet and Pastor of their homes.
Subscribe to my YouTube video for more inspiring message and video.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm9-ifbyvUsfTSjamNMyBMg
Visit my website for more inspiration and relationship post.
Www.princessjanet.com
©Princess Janet 2020.
Love Tank
Princess Janet
2020-12-17
Love Tank.
I know you would have heard of the 5 love languages which includes:
1. Quality time
2. Physical touch
3. Act of service
4. Words of affirmation
5. Gifts
Almost everyone have one major language of love that makes them feel loved and special when their partner communicate with that particular language.
For examples, some whose number one love language is word of affirmation will not be tired of hearing ' I love you' a thousand times in day. To he/she their love tank is full to the brim when they hear such words. They are the type of partner that appreciates love poems, text or hand written letter.
One mistake we make sometimes is that we often communicate our own language of love to our partner instead of communicating theirs. So someone who loves quality time will always want to be with their partner and feels he/she is showing that he loves them, whereas the partners love language is act of service. So instead of spending time together and chit chatting the other partner prefers that you help them do something around the house.
You think you are loving your partner, but you are communicating the wrong language hence your partners love tank is empty.
While some people don't really have a major love language, and they appreciates all 5 love language equally, there are some people who have one major language that takes about 90% of the total 5 languages.
Failure to communicate in that major love language will make them feel starved of love even if you are communicating other 4 languages effectively.
Do you know your partner's love language.
How well you communicate your partner's love language will determine how they feel loved.
It is one thing to love your partner, it is another thing to make them feel loved.
So take your time to feel the love tank of your partner.
Start learning to speak your partner's love language in courtship, except for physical touch. Thou shall not touch in courtship o, my hand is not in that one o.
The earlier you start speaking your partner's love language the better you will master it.
How well you speak their love language will determine the amount of love that is in their love tank.
The amount of love in your partner's love tank, will have a long effect on your relationship.
This is one principle that will make your relationship and marriage work.
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©Princess Janet 2020.
Break Up
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
Break up ain't easy, it can be painful but it is necessary (or perhaps compulsory) under the following conditions. Break up if you are in a relationship with an unbeliever. An unbeliever can be that brother/sister in your church.
That he is a worker at the church doesn't necessarily mean he/she is a child of God,many attend church everyday yet they haven't met Christ. By their fruits you will know them. 2Corin6:14" Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Break up when he/she demands for sex as a proof of your love. Premarital sex is a sin against God and your body. Flee from anyone that can make you fall prey of fornication. 1Corin6:18"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
Break up when he/she thinks sex is a sin but the likes of kissing and romance isn't too bad. 1 1Thess 5:22'Abstain from all appearance of evil'. Break up when he/she doesn't draw you closer to God. Infact since you two met you have noticed the lack of appetite for the word of God, your spiritual life has been stagnant or reduced, you need to break up. A relationship that doesn't draws you closer to God will destroy you.
Break up if he slaps you occasionally when you piss him off. A real man doesn't display his authority by beating a woman. He will not just slap you when he marries you,he will turn you into a punching bag. Quit that relationship even if he begs you after beating you with roses and chocolate, you are far more precious to be treated like a trash.
Break up when you lack peace in that relationship. Peace of mind is one of the ways of knowing God's will. There is no fear in love. Break up if you don't know where that relationship is leading to. The main purpose of every Relationship should be marriage, or else it will be a waste of time. Break up if the relationship is one sided, you are the only one who do the calling, texting, visiting and so on.
A relationship should be mutual, two people who are working together to make it work.Amos3:3 can two walk together except they agree? There are many red flags like this that people notice in their relationship and yet they refuse to let go, because of the following reasons loneliness(you can be married and still feel very lonely, and this is even more painful)
Because they are afraid they are getting old and no one will want them(age is just a number, that you are getting old doesn't mean you should settle for less when God have the best for you.Just trust God)
Because of what people will say(care less about what people will say they are not the one that will live your life for you) Because they believe they are can change their partner with time.(it is only the holy spirit that can change a person)
Note: Don't take chances, marriage is not trial and error their is no room for divorce. Once you are married, it is till death do you part. The pain of break ups is negligible to the pain of marrying the wrong person.
Do the needful now when you can. I pray God gives us the wisdom to make right decisions.
Shalom!!!
Break Up
Husband Not Atm
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
Dear sisters If you are still among those who think marriage is all about putting your financial burden on the man without having any source of income of your own, you need deliverance.
You still think success can be sexually/ martially transmitted, please receive sense today. You still think your husband should be your automated teller machine (ATM), please bend down and let me pray for you. Some wives can not even buy ordinary Maggi unless the husband is back home to give them money.
Marriage is for mature singles, and one of the characteristics of maturity is to be spiritually, mentally, emotionally and FINANCIALLY stable. Marriage is not for lazy people and success is not streamlined to a particular gender, you can be successful as a woman too.
Find your purpose and fulfill it, don't be a waste to this generation. Get a Job or better still get a skill that will make you an employer of labour. Check out the Virtuous woman in Proverbs31:16-18."She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a Vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker".
There is this general saying that behind a successful man there is a woman, which is true but you hardly hear the the woman's name. How many knows they name of Mark Zuckerberg's wife? How many knows the name of Dangote's wife? Or the name of Bill Gate's wife. Even though the man and woman are joined together to become one flesh, that doesn't mean if they want to announce the richest person on earth they will call Mr and Mrs Bill Gates, even though Gates wife is equally successful,she is the co-founder of Bills and Melinda Gate foundation.
Genesis1:28 says"And God blessed THEM, and God said unto THEM, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth."
'Them' in this bible verse means both man and woman, and when God said be fruitful and multiply he wasn't talking about child bearing alone he was talking about being successful and fruitful,maximizing your God given potential.
We have alot of successful women in the world, the likes of Angela Markel Chancellor of Germany, Mary Barra CEO of general motors, Folorunsho Alakija the Nigeria business tycoon and successful women in ministry like Joyce Meyer and the likes.
P.S: Men please don't be intimidated by your wives/fiancée success, rather support and encourage them. And the fact that she is buoyant financially doesn't mean she should be the financial head of the home, don't be slack in your responsibility. Be the head God has called you to be.
Shalom!
Husband Not Atm
Is love enough?
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
I have heard many say there is nothing like God's will in marriage, they believe God is no longer in the business of giving you your "Eve". They believe once you love someone then you can go ahead and get married. They believe that love is just enough to make marriage work. Is love just enough?
There are many functions, variables and constant in the equation of marriage, without which the equation will be incomplete and the marriage will fail. One of the constant in the equation of marriage is God, remove God from your marriage and all you will have left is nothing but crisis.
Removing God from your marriage decision is like removing salt from a food ingredient, it will be flavorless and tasteless. Basing your marriage decisions on just emotional feelings that may not stand the test of time or sustain you during the storms of marriage is very dangerous. In as much as love is important and good, it shouldn't be the only thing that should be used as a criteria for choosing whom to marry, let God have a say in your decision.
If he doesn't have a say in your decisions now, don't invite God when you start facing challenges in that marriage. God's will for us is always the best and the outcome is always the best too, sometimes God's will may seem not to good in our eyes ,but remember His words in Ezekiel 55:8"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD' and Jeremiah29:11 'For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end'.
Always remember that God can never be wrong, he loves us and wants the best for us.
Shalom!!!
I have heard many say there is nothing like God's will in marriage, they believe God is no longer in
Ask questions?
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
Paul: Sister Nifemi, the lord is leading me to you. He specifically told me that you are my wife, and that is why I have been trying to get close to you for about a month now but you won't let me get closer.
Nifemi: Okay Bro Paul. What exactly did God tell you about me and how did he tell you? Paul: I just had the deep feeling in my heart Nifemi: a deep feeling you said right? So are you born again Paul: yes of course, am the choir master in my church, when I sing the angels stop to listen
Nifemi: really😮, but there is a difference between knowing God and working for God. So do you know God and does he knows you? Paul: of course God knows me
Nifemi: Okay explain your salvation experience with me Paul:Salvation experience? Nifemi: yes Paul: I can't remember, it's been a long time Nifemi: Okay. What is your purpose in life?
Paul: To sing music. Nifemi: So how am I going to fit into this purpose of your?, because I don't know how to sing. Paul: it doesn't matter, I will teach you to sing Nifemi: what is your opinion about premarital sex?
Paul: it is a sin, but I don't see anything wrong with kissing and exploring the explorable just to have fun, you should understand that body no be wood. Nifemi: * shaking her head* body no be wood. So how many relations have you had before now
Paul: just 8 relationships Nifemi: wow! So why didn't you get married to any of them Paul: they were not meant for me Nifemi: How did you know that? Paul: three out of them wouldn't allow me kiss them, two of them were rude, another two broke up with me and the last one her parent wouldn't consent to our relationship.
Nifemi: have you told your pastor about me? Paul:No Nifemi:Why? Paul: those pastors are too old fashioned, they will start giving rules and regulations, and I can't stand those rules. Nifemi: hmmm.....
Paul: So when will you give an answer to my proposal Nifemi: when I hear from my father. Paul: is it your dad that will make the decision for you? Nifemi: yes my heavenly Father knows those who belong to him, and I need to hear is go ahead first Paul: Oh! heavenly Father you meant...
Or you enter any relationship make sure you pray and let God lead you and it is also equally important to ask questions, ask as many questions as possible. No liar is perfect enough to be 100%perfect at lying, by asking questions you will know if he is lying when you start noticing inconsistency. And if you are already in a relationship, start asking questions now, don't just spend your courtship period eating sharwama and suya alone, don't spend your time praying alone either. Yes pray but ask as many
questions as possible too.
Ask questions?
Facebook Love (E-Love)
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Gone are those days when you meet your life partners in church, retreats, school or at work. We are in the Era of Internet love, online love, Facebook love, Instagram love and so on. Marriage proposal are now done on Facebook and accepted like a friend request. You saw her on Facebook, beautiful profile picture she writes excellently well and you just receive her and propose in less than 2weeks of chatting and she accepts in less than two weeks and you got married in less than 3 months...congratulations I just hope after 3months of marriage you won't say you are tired and you want a divorce. This scenario may seem exaggerated, but it happens
Can you meet the will of God for marriage through social media? I will say it is possible. Can you fall in love with someone you haven't seen before? I will also say it is possible, we love Jesus even though we haven't seen him face to face. But in as much as I said it is possible doesn't mean it is ideal. Many have met their partners online and they are happily married now, why many have also tried to meet people they met online and they are dead now.
Meeting people online for business, networking, friendship and marriage is a very risky game, many did not live to tell their story. So even though you think God is leading you to someone online I will advice you to take some of these precautions.
For brothers, it is very unethical to propose to a sister you met online without seeing her. Just because you believe she is the one for you doesn't mean the proposal should be on Facebook chat or whatsapp, take the right procedure, at least you should see the person you are proposing too, meet the church elders or pastor too.
To sisters: Don't accept an online proposal for any reason, if he is for real he will show his face. If he really loves you he will come and see you face to face. Even if he is in London and you are in Nigeria, distance won't be an excuse. If he continues to tell you he loves you and wants
to marry you without showing his face, then he is probably married, or engaged to someone else's, so stay away from such, guard your heart jealousy
To sisters: Don't ever agree to meet at home and don't disclose your address to someone you met online. If you must meet, make sure you meet in an open place, like church, restaurant or any place that you are very familiar with. In fact make sure you choose the location yourself and you can even go with your friend. And don't enter his car, don't collect any eatable gift. Make sure someone knows about your meeting arrangements, like your friends, parent or pastors.
Don’t be quick to accept the proposal, meet more often, and know his pastor, his friends. And pray very well as well. These are not laid down rules that should be followed strictly; it is just my own opinion. For many people you see on facebook are not real, some have up to 4 Facebook account with different names and pictures. Some will put the picture of a lady as the profile picture whereas it is a man operating the Facebook account. People are on social media for different reasons: some to impact and edify lifes while some are here to kill, steal and destroy. Both young men and ladies need to be very careful as well as prayerful. May God help us all. Is love enough?
I have heard many say there is nothing like God's will in marriage, they believe God is no longer in the business of giving you your "Eve". They believe once you love someone then you can go ahead and get married. They believe that love is just enough to make marriage work. Is love just enough? There are many functions, variables and constant in the equation of marriage, without which the equation will be incomplete and the marriage will fail.
One of the constant in the equation of marriage is God, remove God from your marriage and all you will have left is nothing but crisis. Removing God from your marriage decision is like removing salt from a food ingredient, it will be flavorless and tasteless. Basing your marriage decisions on just emotional feelings that may not stand the test of time or sustain you during the storms of marriage is very dangerous. In as much as love is important and good, it shouldn't be the only thing that should be used as a criteria for choosing whom to marry, let God have a say in your decision. If he doesn't have a say in your decisions now, don't invite God when you start facing challenges in that marriage.
God's will for us is always the best and the outcome is always the best too, sometimes God's will may seem not to good in our eyes ,but remember His words in Ezekiel 55:8"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD' and Jeremiah29:11 'For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end'. Always remember that God can never be wrong, he loves us and wants the best for us.
Shalom!!!
Facebook Love (E-Love)
Can I kiss my fiancée before we get married ?
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Q: Can I kiss my fiancée before we get married, we know premarital sex is a sin, but is kissing a sin too? A: Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Proverb6:27.
Can a man kiss someone he is not married to without fueling his lustful desire? of course not. Sex is a process, it doesn’t just entails the intercourse alone, it entails the touch, the kiss, the fondling, the romance and then the intercourse and lots more. All processes that leads to sex should be confide to the marital bed and not the engagement bed.
Kissing, fondling, romance and the likes are meant to be enjoyed in marriage alone. God’s standard is so high that he consider hatred to be murder and he consider lustfully looking at a woman adultery. I used to think there is nothing bad in kissing too, "you know just an innocent kiss" i thought But then If God can consider looking at a woman lustfully as adultery, how much more kissing someone you are not married too. So wait till you are married before you satisfy your sexual desire don’t let the devil deceive you to believe that kissing is not a sin, because it is a sin
Shalom!
Can I kiss my fiancée before we get married ?
Your no sex relationship doesnt have to be boring
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Am glad you have determined to save sex till after marriage, I commend your effort. But this is not a license to have a boring relationship. My brother and sister, if your relationship is boring there is high probability that your marriage will be boring too. There is no better place to enjoy your relationship than in the presence of God, for in the presence of God there is fullness of Joy.
Studying the word of God together and praying together is one way of spicing up your relationship. Attend church programs, seminar or conferences together.
Many believe that romance always have to do with sex or kissing and touches. But romance is way more than sex, a simple 'I love you', a love poem or letter, or pet name can go a long way.
Be romantic. Speak each other love languages, discover each other love languages and learn to speak it. Don't wait till you get married before you start learning how to make your partner to feel loved. it is one thing to love someone, it is another thing to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. Go out and have fun. Go on a date, a candle light dinner (not in a secluded area), go watch a movie, go to the beach, it is not carnal to go out and have fun.
Give your partner a pleasant surprise, everyone loves surprises, a surprise means you always have your partner in mind and it makes your partner feel loved. Buy a gift for your partner, ladies don't go and be buying boxers and singlets o. Buy something worth it, something that he/she will appreciate. Brothers buy her something lovely, try and find out what your partner like and buy it as a surprise.
Marriage is both spiritual as well as physical, so don't just focus on the spiritual or physical alone. Be spontaneous, spice up your relationship, if you don't start learning it now it will be difficult to learn it when you are married.
Shalom!
Your no sex relationship doesnt have to be boring
What age can you advice a lady to start a relationship
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Q: what age can you advice a lady to start a relationship
A: Generally I will say don't start a relationship until you are ready to get married, don’t start a relationship until you are mature to handle it's responsibility, don't start a relationship until you have discovered your purpose.
But do everyone get mature at the same age, do everyone discover their purpose at the same age, do everyone get ready for marriage at the same age? Of course not, it will be difficult to pin point a particular age for everyone. Many will advice you based on their experience or observations, but what works for A may not work for B. There are rules and guidelines that can work for some people which might not work for others.
I started my first relationship at the age of 19 when I was in 300level, I thought the relationship was going to be my first and last, but I was wrong, because the relationship didn't last for long. There are many who also started a relationship as early as I did who didn't end up getting married, while there are also many others who started their relationship as early as possible and they courted for several years and are successfully married now.
The point is there is no prototype model for a relationship to work or a particular age to start a relationship. The main important thing is to let God direct your path and lead you. Only God knows the best path for each individual. Don't compare your life with that of your friends or sister, you are unique and different, don't follow their own path let God direct your own path...
Shalom!!!
What age can you advice a lady to start a relationship
Modesty
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2021-02-16
Do you know that one of the responsibilities of being the head of your home as a man, is being the Spiritual head of your home. There is an enormous amount of authority and anointing that you can command spiritually on your family just because you are the head. Many believers are not aware of this, and hence many homes are under the attack of the enemy.
One of the reasons for many divorce and separation cases today especially among so called Christians is because the home has no spiritual covering. As the spiritual head you serve as a spiritual covering on your family. The devil is also trying hard to make sure men don't fill their position as the spiritual head, hence there won't be spiritual covering over the home.
I remember reading a Twitter story of a man who told his wife not to go for an appointment on a particular day, the wife disobeyed and went. She was hypnotized and kidnapped on the way and it was the prayer of the husband over the phone that set her free.
As a man, if it was your wife in that situation will you be able to set her free, are you close to God enough to do that. But how do you want to function as a spiritual head when you can't even pray. How do you want to advocate for your family when all you do is eat and sleep. How do you want to function as a spiritual head when there is no family altar in your home. Many men have relegated their spiritual responsibility to their wives, which is very wrong. Men wake up, enough of the slumbering. Wake up to your spiritual responsibilities.
Pray and fast for your family. Set up a spiritual altar of prayer in your home. Just like Christ advocates for his church, you also need to advocate for your home. Often times you see people especially women honoring men of God and Pastors, more than their spouse. What people honor in Pastors and Men of God is the anointing and authority that they carry. If you become the spiritual head you are called to be as a man, there is a way your wife and children will honor that anointing and authority you carry too. I yearn to see Christian homes where the men are the spiritual head, using their spiritual authority to protect his home. I yearn to see Christian homes where the men are the spiritual head, teaching and nurturing their family in the way of the lord. I yearn to see Men as Priest, Prophet and Pastor of their homes. Subscribe to my YouTube video for more inspiring message and video.
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2021-02-16
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Que Sera Sera
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
What will be will not be unless you make it be. Some people believe that what will be will be no matter what and because of this they develop a nonchalant attitude towards life.
Talking about relationships, many believe that a relationship will work out no matter what they do or don't do. Whether they communicate for a week or not, what will be will be. Whether they cheat on their spouse or not, what will be will be.
Whether they love their wife or not, what will be will be. Whether they submit to their husband or not what will play be will be. And once a relationship fails or a marriage collapses they console themselves by saying it wasn't God's will for them to be in the relationship and that is why it failed.
Some even think that "what will be will be" is a form of faith, forgetting that faith without God is dead. Saying what will be will be is just like waking up in the morning and going into your kitchen and you keep chorusing' what will be will be' with the hope and faith that breakfast will spring up from nowhere or fall down from heaven..
When hunger finish you no one will tell you to prepare the food yourself God is not a magician neither is he in support of nonchalant and lazy bum.
In everything you do, you need to try your very best and hand over the rest to God. Believing that what will be will be with without making any effort is arrant nonsense.
Many relationships that was ordained by God failed before they could even walk down the aisle because they believed that what will be will be. So put all your efforts in that relationship Put all your efforts in your marriage Put all your efforts in your studies and business And after you have put your best effort, entrust the rest to God and have faith.
Shalom!
Que Sera Sera
Verbal Abuse Vs Domestic Violence
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
I remember growing up, whenever I offend my mum and she wants to discipline me, she seldoms uses cane rather she uses the words of her mouth. She corrects me with love by sitting me down and talking sense into my head and her words usually hits me like a spear. I usually wished she can just beat me with cane rather than chastising me with words because those words hurt more than cane. And her positive words really changed my life.
There is power in our words, and we can either use it for good or for evil, we can either use it to edify or destroy, we can either use it to correct in love or abuse. James 3:5-10 (NLT) says "...the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny sparks can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is like a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire....people can tame all kind of animals....
But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and father and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing comes pouring out of the same mouth....this is not right!" Both men and women have what I call verbal power, but women have more of it, and some use it in the wrong way. They curse and abuse their husbands when he is wrong or during arguments. You are killing your husbands emotionally and psychologically
When you do this. You make him feel less of who he is and you disrespect him. God has given you this verbal power so as to build your husband up and encourage him. Use your tongue for positive speech and you will reap positive results, and use your tongue for negative speech and you will reap negative results like domestic violence. If you see the way some women curse and abuse their husband, you will pity the man and cry for him. Some women are the cause of their own problems, they use their tongue to set their husband on fire and when he pounce on them and beat them they complain. But am I trying to justify domestic violence? of course not.
There is no justifiable reason for you to beat your wife as a man. Even if she uses are verbal power negatively, you are expected to use your muscular power positively. Some husband will still beats their wife even if she is as meek, quiet and gentle as a sheep. Some women who are submissive, prayerful and who uses their verbal power positively still suffers from domestic violence, so therefore verbal abuse is not the only cause of domestic violence. Only a foolish man will raise up his hands to beat the woman that God said you are one flesh with, because beating her equals to beating yourself.
There is a reason why you are called the groom on your wedding day, as the groom you are expected to cultivate your bride to what you want her to be. So if your bride is still using her verbal power negatively it is because you have failed to cultivate her to use it positively.
A woman can either be your weakness or your strength, it depends on who you make her to be, that power is entirely yours to use. Many men uses anger as an excuse for domestic violence, and I often wonder why they didn't beat up their boss in the office that got them angry. The police got you angry on your way back from work but instead you smile and even gave them a tip so that they can let you pass, but when you get home you transfer all your anger and frustration on your wife and children.
If you don't know where to pour out your anger and frustration, I will advice you to go register in a gym where you can punch a punching bag or buy a punching bag at home. Women let your home be a safe haven for your husbands, a place he looks forward to be after the days stress and frustration, a place of peace and Joy, not a place of constant nagging and complains. But does this means there won't be disagreement and quarrels between you too? Of course not, disagreements are bound to surface once in a while. So take this simple advice. Don't ever get angry at the same time.
If your husband is the one angry and ranting, just keep quiet as the wife and allow him calm down. And if it is your wife that is angry and nagging, just keep quiet as the husband and allow her calm down. Two wrongs cannot make a right. Use your word to encourage each other always, never say anything negative about your spouse. Domestic violence is not affecting women alone; many men have been beaten and killed by their wives too. Verbal abuse doesn't affect men alone too, some men can also abuse women verbally rather than beating them.
Domestic violence crushes and kills the body while verbal abuse crushes the soul. Let's say no to verbal abuse and domestic violence. Finally husbands, "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life.
Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered."1peter3:7.
Your wife is called a weaker vessel so that you can be her strength, nurture her, cherish her and protect her, these are some of your roles. Don't use your strength to trample on her or beat her. Finally wives, "Wives, respect and obey your husbands in the same way.....Sarah obeyed Abraham. She called him her master. You are her children if you do what is right and are not afraid of trouble." 1peter 3:1a
Shalom!!!
Verbal Abuse Vs Domestic Violence
Communication in Relationship
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
No form of relationship will survive without healthy communication, be it husband and wife relationship, father and son relationship or boss and staff relationship.
And if you don't learn to communicate properly in your courtship now, then it may be difficult to communicate properly when you are married. I know some religious bigots will say communication or no communication a relationship will work of God is involved. I know some will say calling your fiancee is a sin, if you are one of those people just Waka pass this post is not for you...
God has a part to play in every area of our lives especially marriage and we also have our own part to play. Failure to play our part is failure itself.
Communication is so important that our relationship with God will not grow unless we communicate with him through praying and reading his word. So if a divine relationship cannot survive without healthy communication then that means communication is very important. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary Communication the act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else.
One of the reasons for problems in relationships and marriages is lack of healthy communication. Many confuse communication with argument, nagging, and complain, but they are not proper way to communicate in a relationship, communication is mutual and it involves expressing your thoughts and feelings. So if your partner offends you, instead of keeping mute and frowning your face up and expecting he/she to read your mind, it is better you sit them down and communicate your thoughts to them.
But is communication all about spoken words?, the definition of communication says we can use signs and behavior to express our thoughts. This means that without saying a word you should be able to know when your partner is angry with you or when your partner is not in a good mood. Study your partner to the extent that you can tell if something is wrong with them or not. People communicate in different style so study your partner's communication style, don't expect them to communicate in the same way you do.
If you are in a long distance relationship or marriage, you need to communicate more and design a communication plan that will make your relationship grow. Call ,text or chat often and visit each other often. Some people only talk without communicating; they speak without listening to their other partner.
This may be common to some temperament especially the extrovert, who are very outspoken. So don’t just speak, wait and listen too. Don't just communicate with your behavior or signs, speak with words too. For Without communication your relationship will suffer a catastrophic death.
Shalom!!!
Communication in Relationship
Character and Wisdom In Marriage
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
When people talk about marriage or when i listen to marriage seminars, they often emphasize on the fact that a woman needs good character and wisdom to attract a good man and to build her home....
Which I totally agree with. But more importantly a man as the head of the house also needs character and wisdom to lead his home. Infact as a lady I will not chose a man who lacks Godly character and wisdom like Nabal. I will choose a man like Abraham who is a wise and responsible husband. A man who will be the priest, prophet, protector, and provider of our home.
Let's read Genesis 18:1-15. In this passage Abraham could have chased the men away if he had bad character and his family would have lost the blessing that they brought for them, but Abraham was a wise man who understands that he as the head he needs to be hospitable to visitors too.
Let's look at another man in the bible 1 Samuel 25:2-44. It is the story of Nabal a man the bible described as mean and bad-tempered, and he had a wife that was intelligent. At the end of the story we will see that the wisdom of the woman was only able to save herself alone, while Nabal died within 10 days.
While in the case of Abraham his wisdom saved not just himself but his household and God blessed them with a child in their Old age. So brothers as we sisters are getting wisdom and Godly character, you need to get much more of the wisdom and Godly Character because to be the head not beans.
Shalom!
Character and Wisdom In Marriage
Dear women!
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
There is no limit to your success, soar like an eagle and build your business empire. Don't let anyone dim your light, don't feel intimidated. If you are still single, I will advice you not to marry a man who is intimidated by your success or a man that is envious of your success. Imagine a brother who proposed to a sister and before she could even say Yes/No he was asking her if she can resign her Job to join him. Note this brother just finished serving and the sister had her second degree already.
This is an example of a man that will be intimidated by your success. But as a married woman, if you are already married to a man who feels insecure with your success, you have enter one chance my dear. You just have to manage and do whatever it takes to save your marriage.
Two things are involved in a marriage where it seems like the woman is more successful (in terms of position, fame and money). PRIDE: Any man or woman can be proud, some are even proud without any reason, they have no money no fame no position, yet they are proud. But often times people become puffed up because of money, position, achievement or fame. And some successful married women become proud the moment they climb the ladder of success, they care less about the husband or their children.
So this is my advice for you Don't let your success get into your head, humble yourself as you soar higher. Always remember that family is first and career is second, create time for your husband and children. INSECURITY: Some men struggle with low self esteem and they feel insecure when they are earning less or when their wife is climbing the ladder of success.
Until a man understands that his authority as a man is not directly proportional to his account balance, then he will feel threatened by his wife's success. Many have been made to believe that as a man you have to be more successful than your wife, they think that is what it means to be the head.
They feel they won't be able to control their wife if they are not on top of their game. The bible likened the man to the head just like Christ is the head of the church, and Jesus said that he expects the church to do greater works that he did. John 14:12" Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
" This is what true leadership is all about, a man should be happy if his wife is doing greater work than he is doing because they are both one flesh. Always remember that your wife's success is your success too, you two are one and remember she even bears your name. Always support her and encourage her to soar higher, this way you will feel like you are also part of her success.
Don't give room to the devil, devils that will come as friends and family who will poison your mind towards your wife. Finally, marriage is not a competition where someone is the first and the other is the second, marriage is about complementing and supporting each other. Butwhat do I know sef....
Shalom!!!
There is no limit to your success, soar like an eagle and build your business empire.
Marriage
Divorce and Remarriage
Princess Janet
2021-02-22
DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE
What does the bible have to say?
N.B :This is for the heavenly minded.
God hates divorce Malachi 2:16."For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel. "To
divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to
your wife."
But because of the hardened heart of men,God gave Moses the instruction to allow men divorce their wife and they can also remarry too. Deutoronomy 24:1-2. This was in the old testament before Jesus came to fulfill the law.
But when the pharisee asked Jesus about divorce, he answered them in Mark 10:3-12 “What did Moses command you?” he replied.
They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become ONE FLESH.’ So they are no longer two, but ONE FLESH. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits ADULTERY against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits ADULTERY."
In the bible passage above Jesus's answer was so clear and simple, but I wonder why people still try to justify remarrying after divorce.
If you must divorce your wife or husband, it must be because of sexual immorality. And if you choose to divorce instead of forgiving and moving on then you must remain Unmarried until your partner dies. If you remarry while your partner is still alive then you are commiting adultery.
Other bible passages such as Matthew 5:31-32, Luke 16:18 and Matthew 19:9 also said the same thing.
Romans 7:2-3. For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he LIVES, but if her husband DIES she is RELEASED from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an ADULTERESS if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies,she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is NOT AN ADULTERESS.
According to this bible passage above,the only condition that allow a man/woman to remarry after divorce is if their partner dies.
Death( and not divorce papers or the jugde) is the only thing that can separate the two that God has joined together. Matthew 19:6 " So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Many use 1Corinthian 7:15 (But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.) as an excuse for divorce, without readying the whole chapter. This bible verse said the believing partner is not enslaved or bound or in Bondage, this means that the believing partner should let the unbelieving partner go because you can't force them to stay. This bible verse never mentioned that they can remarry. And before then Paul said in 1Corinthian 7:10-11 "To the married I give this charge (NOT I, BUT THE LORD): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain UNMARRIED or else be RECONCILED to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
If you notice the bible passage above you will see that Paul emphasized the fact that what he was saying is from the lord, and in verses 12 downward he gave some advice based on his own opinion and even though it was his opinion, it still didn't contradict what he said through the lord. 1Corinthian 7:12-15" To the rest I say (I, NOT THE LORD) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.... But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace."
And in 1Corinthian 7:39 Paul rounded up by saying " A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in
the Lord."
God's intention and plan about marriage is for the two to be together till death part them. Marriage is a covenant and it can only be broken by death and not by man or divorce papers. So in case you are divorced for one reason or the other and you are heavenly minded, then you can't remarry until your divorced partner dies.
That is why it is better to allow God lead you t
divorce
Divorce and remarriage
Princess Janet
2021-02-16
DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE.
What does the bible have to say?
N.B :This is for the heavenly minded.
I have seen many questions about remarriage after divorce in this group so please read this.
God hates divorce Malachi 2:16."For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel. "To
divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to
your wife."
But because of the hardened heart of men,God gave Moses the instruction to allow men divorce their wife and they can also remarry too. Deutoronomy 24:1-2. This was in the old testament before Jesus came to fulfill the law.
But when the pharisee asked Jesus about divorce, he answered them in Mark 10:3-12 “What did Moses command you?” he replied.
They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become ONE FLESH.’ So they are no longer two, but ONE FLESH.
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits ADULTERY against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits ADULTERY."
In the bible passage above Jesus's answer was so clear and simple, but I wonder why people still try to justify remarrying after divorce.
If you must divorce your wife or husband, it must be because of sexual immorality. And if you choose to divorce instead of forgiving and moving on then you must remain Unmarried until your partner dies. If you remarry while your partner is still alive then you are commiting adultery.
Other bible passages such as Matthew 5:31-32, Luke 16:18 and Matthew 19:9 also said the same thing.
Romans 7:2-3. For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he LIVES, but if her husband DIES she is RELEASED from the law of marriage.
Accordingly, she will be called an ADULTERESS if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies,she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is NOT AN ADULTERESS.
According to this bible passage above,the only condition that allow a man/woman to remarry after divorce is if their partner dies.
Death( and not divorce papers or the jugde) is the only thing that can separate the two that God has joined together. Matthew 19:6 " So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Many use 1Corinthian 7:15 (But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.) as an excuse for divorce, without readying the whole chapter. This bible verse said the believing partner is not enslaved or bound or in Bondage, this means that the believing partner should let the unbelieving partner go because you can't force them to stay.
This bible verse never mentioned that they can remarry. And before then Paul said in 1Corinthian 7:10-11 "To the married I give this charge (NOT I, BUT THE LORD): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain UNMARRIED or else be RECONCILED to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
If you notice the bible passage above you will see that Paul emphasized the fact that what he was saying is from the lord, and in verses 12 downward he gave some advice based on his own opinion and even though it was his opinion, it still didn't contradict what he said through the lord. 1Corinthian 7:12-15" To the rest I say (I, NOT THE LORD) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.... But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace."
And in 1Corinthian 7:39 Paul rounded up by saying " A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord."
God's intention and plan about marriage is for the two to be together till death part them. Marriage is a covenant and it can only be broken by death and not by man or divorce papers. So in case you are divorced for one reason or the other and you are heavenly minded, then you can't remarry until your divorced partner dies.
That is why it is better to allow God lead you to marry the right person than to lead yourself into a wrong marriage and to start wishing your partner dies so you can remarry.
But this is a hard saying only the heavenly minded can take it.....
I pray that the lord will heal every marriage at the edge of divorce and he will reconcile divorced partners back together in Jesus name....Amen.
Shalom!!!
Please share if you want to, no need for permission.
© Princess Janet 2017..
marriage
Inter-Tribal Marriage
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
I have heard many people say they can't marry outside their tribe for one reason or the other. Have heard some men of God preach it too and they back it up with the scripture. Gen24:4"Go instead to my homeland to my relatives and find a wife there for my son Isaac". They use this bible passage to justify that marrying your tribe is the best.
They forget that we are now in a new dispensation where there is no more Jew or Gentile, as long as you believe in Jesus Christ, you are a son of God and a believer as well. My dad still told me few weeks ago that I shouldn't dare bring an Ibo man home to marry because he won't consent to it. His reason was that my Ibo husband will kill me and use me for pepper.
I laughed and asked him if some Yorubas don't use their wives for rituals too. My mum will say "I will respect your choice for marriage as far as he is a child of God" But in her inner mind I know she wants a Yoruba son-in-law.
I might just disappoint both of them and bring one Oppa from Korea home to marry. Whether you marry from your tribe or outside your tribe,it is not a factor that will determine a happy home.
Don't leave the important factors like God, love and understanding, when you have this three factors you can be sure to overcome every hurdles that comes your way in that marriage. There is no marriage that won't have its own issues and challenges, the common challenges with Inter-tribal marriage will be:
Will my in-laws accept me and welcome me as their daughter or son. Language: anytime you visit your in laws and they start speaking their language the next thing that comes to your mind is that they are talking about you. Don't worry you will learn the language soon enough too.
Food: you are a Yoruba girl and you are used to cooking ewedu, okra, vegetables and stew with plenty plenty pepper. The first time you will probably cook for your Ibos in-laws or husband ehn, they will think you were planning to choke them to death with pepper because Ibos don't eat pepper like the Yorubas. Don't worry you will learn, and you will also learn how to cook all those Ibos delicacies too.
Cultures and traditions that is not biblical Inter-tribal marriage or not once God is involved and you two love and understand each other, you will have a happy blissful home. What the bible instructs is" do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers", not "do not be unequally yoked with Ibos or Hausas.
Shalom!!!
Inter-Tribal Marriage
can you marry a sister that is richer than you ?
Princess Janet
2019-04-23
Me: can you marry a sister that is richer than you? Bro Damilare: No o... never Me: Why Bro Damilare: Because am suppose to be the head of my family.
Me: So Bro Damilare: so am suppose to be richer than her or else I won't be the head of the family.
Me: Did God make Adam the head in the Garden of Eden because of the millions in his bank account?
Bro Damilare: not really, but I won't be a man if I don't have money. The yoruba's used to say 'owo la fi n sokoobinrin' (which means that it is money that you will use to be a husband to your wife).
Me: So in short you mean, you are not a man unless you have more Many than your wife Bro Damilare: all I know is that I have to be successful and very rich.
Many believe that a man is not a man if he is not rich, and many men have that mindset too already. They believe that the identity of a man is dependent on the amount of money in his bank account.
Many feel less of a man when they don't have money, and this have affected many men psychologically.   Don't get me wrong, it is good to be successful, very successful sef, and it is good for men to aspire to be better and extremely successful. But is success gender based, is gender for men alone, should women's success be second to men's own? Of course not Success and riches is for all, both men and women. So it is not a sin for a woman to be successful too .
Men please aspire to be successful and rich, but know that your identity as a man is not dependent on the amount of money you have. You are a man and the head of your home irrespective of your financial status. So unlearn the wrong mentality that have been imbibed into you and relearn. Kill that insecurity before it kills your marriage and self esteem.   Women please aspire to be successful.
Don't be scared of being successful and rich, there are men who will support you and even encourage you to be more successful. It is not all successful women that have a failed marriage; you can be successful and have a successful marriage too. Don't make your man feel less than a man because you are richer.
Kill that pride before it destroys your marriage.   Two main things affect marriages where the wife is richer than the husband: the insecurity of the husband and the pride of the woman. Kill this two enemies of progress and you will thank me later.
Shalom!!!
can you marry a sister that is richer than you ?
A Perfect Marriage
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
A perfect marriage is not a marriage where the couples don't quarrel or disagree, a perfect marriage is a marriage where they disagree to agree. A perfect marriage is a marriage that is instituted and authored by God. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the husband loves his wife just like Christ loves his church.
A perfect marriage is a marriage where the husband sacrifices his EVERYTHING for his family. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the husband treats his wife with respect and honor. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the husband serves his wife just like Jesus served his disciples to the point of washing their feet. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the husband is the spiritual head of the family. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the wife submits to the authority of her husband in EVERYTHING.
A perfect marriage is a marriage where the wife respects and loves her husband. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the wife acknowledges the leadership of her husband. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the children grow up in the knowledge of God. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the children obey God and their parents. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the partners understand each other. They understands that they are coming from a different background. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the two contributes 100/100 rather than 50/50.
A marriage where the two are totally committed to make it work. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the two work as teammates working to achieve the same goals.. A perfect marriage is a marriage where the two complements each other rather than competing with each other. A perfect marriage consist of two forgivers. A perfect marriage consist of two people who understands the meaning of love. A perfect marriage consist of two people who will continue to love each other even when they don't deserve to be loved. A perfect consist of two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. A perfect marriage is a marriage where divorce is not an option for them when they are facing storms of life.
A perfect marriage is not in heaven, it is not far fetch, it is a marriage situated on earth where God is the chairman of the marriage. A marriage where God rules and reigns... I pray God gives us all a perfect marriage....
Shalom!!!
A Perfect Marriage
Dear husbands
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
Stop thinking you are doing your wife a favour when you do house chores that is expected of every reasonable adult to do in the house. You are not helping her; you are just doing a share of your responsibility as an adult.
Stop thinking your wife is the only one that should take care of the children, parenting is for both of you, and it starts from changing of diaper to having sleepless night with your baby while you sing lullaby so the baby can sleep.
I often hear some husband calling their wife when their baby is crying, you will hear something like" Iya Joseph come and carry your baby, she is crying”. “your baby" as if she was the only one that brought the baby to the world. Yoruba culture believes that every child belongs to the father yet some fathers don't want to be responsible for their child.... who does that
A brother that cannot cook a delicious meal like Brother Jacob that made Brother Esau sell is birthright without thinking is that one ready to get married A brother that doesn't like carrying baby doesn't like the smell of shit and cannot stand the crying of babies, is that one ready to be a father.... mtcheww Being a husband is more than dropping money for soup or school fees, it entails a whole lot of responsibility and maturity. So brothers buckle up, but this is a hard saying who can listen to it? Share if you want to, no need for permission
Stop thinking you are doing your wife a favour when you do house chores that is expected of every re
SALIENT LESSON FROM THE MOVIE: FIREPROOF
Princess Janet
2019-04-04
If you haven’t watched this movie (Fireproof), please go and download it ASAP. Whether you are married or single, you need to watch the movie, because it is loaded with lessons. I can’t count the number of times I have watched it, and every time I do I learn new things. So let me just share few things that I have learnt from this movie. Sit back, grab a popcorn & and ice-cream. You never leave your partner especially in a fire.
Marriage aren’t fireproof (that is marriage is not always a smooth journey), sometimes you get burned. Fireproof doesn’t means there won’t be fire but that when fire comes you will be able to withstand it. Communication is key, your spouse especially women loves to be with someone they can talk to someone who listens and understand them. Listening to your wife makes her feel special, appreciated and important.
The reason why some husbands complains and says their wives nags always is because they fail to listen to her. No marriage is broken, the two partners just don’t know how to make it work. Marriage needs two partner who are willing to make it work no matter what, two people who will stick together even in the fire A woman is like a rose, if you treat her right she will bloom if you don’t she will wilt.
The way you treat your wife is the way you will enjoy her, if you treat her like a queen then she will be a queen to you and if you treat her like a slave then so be it. One important thing a man needs in marriage is respect respect respect, he can’t have too much of it, but respect isn’t just given, it is earned. A man who doesn’t do honorable things with his time and who doesn’t love his wife will likely not get the respect he yearns.
A real man should be a hero to his wife before anybody else. You can be an hero at work, in your extended family or in the community but the most important thing is to be a hero to your wife and children. When a marriage isn’t working out, it is not something that started suddenly, it is a gradual process you guys are just too busy to notice. Love grows and it can also die, love doesn’t die suddenly it is your insensitivity, ego, nagging, selfishness that kills love.
When two people get married it is for better or on worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, but not anymore couples only wants to stay together when it is better, in riches and in good health. Divorce breaks either one or both of the partner. Our words reflect the condition of our heart, so don’t say negative words to your spouse at all. It is better to hold your tongue than to say something you will regret.
Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry, James1:19. Love in the truest sense is not based on feelings but a determination to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. Whatever you put your time and energy into will become more important to you, it’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. if you hardly spend money on your wife and you hardly have time to talk, and she will become less and less important to you.
When a man is trying to win the heart of a woman, he studies her; he learns her likes, dislikes, habits and hobbies. But after he wins her heart and marries her he often stop learning about her. If the amount he studied her before marriage is equal to a high school degree, he should continue to learn about her until he gains a college degree, a master’s degree, a PhD degree and ultimately becomes a professor. It is a lifelong journey that draws his heart closer to hers, so don’t ever stop studying each other.
Help your wife in every way possible, clean the house and wash the dishes, it doesn’t make you less of a man, in fact it earns more respects for you. Your wife doesn’t need to ask for your help at home before you help her. And don’t ever think you are doing her a favor by helping her, rather you are doing yourself a favor. It is the duty of every man to help his wife and the duty of every woman to help the man.
You can’t love your spouse if you don’t have Christ, because you can’t give what you don’t have, you can’t love someone until you understand what love really is. You don’t love someone because you get a reward out of it, love is a decision to love your spouse whether they deserve it or not. There is this popular saying that you should follow your heart especially when you want to make a decision. But am telling you, don’t just follow your heart because your heart can be deceived, but you have to lead your heart. Watch out for parasites in your marriage.
A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage; they are usually in the form of addictions like gambling, drugs or pornography. They promise pleasure but they grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time and money they steal your loyalty and heart from those you love.
Marriages rarely survives if parasites are present. If you love your spouse you must destroy any addiction that has your heart, if you don’t it will destroy you. When a man is giving you the attention that you don’t get from your husband even though he knew you are married, what makes you think he won’t do that with someone else?
Apologizing doesn’t mean you are wrong and the other person is right, it only means you value your relationship more than your ego, no one is too big to kneel and beg for forgiveness when the need arise. That you are the head doesn’t mean you are too big to say sorry and apologize. Love is when you put your spouse interest first before yours.
No one can say he loves if he is not willing to give and sacrifice for his spouse. Catherine in this movie did not believe that her husband has change and now truly loves her until Caleb gave the 24000 dollars he has been saving for a boat to purchase wheelchair and hospital bed for the his wife’s mother, that is what we call love and sacrifice.
And until your love is an unconditional love that doesn’t depend on whether the person deserves it or not, then your marriage might not work. If you have watched this movie before please add the lessons you learnt that wasn’t mentioned here and lets learn together.
Thanks for reading and thanks to the Kendrick Brothers for this wonderful movie
SALIENT LESSON FROM THE MOVIE: FIREPROOF
Husband The Spiritual Head
Princess Janet
2019-04-03
For the husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the savior of his body, the church" Ephesians 5:23. The bible likened the role of the man in the home to that of Christ in the church.
The man is meant to be the head in all aspects especially spiritually. The spiritual controls the physical, if you can't lead your home spiritually as a man, it will be pain tasking to do in other areas. Many men complain about how their wives respect their pastors more than they respect them, not knowing the reason why it is so. Women tends to respect men with spiritual authority, they respect men who can give solutions to their problem to the extent that some might idolize their pastors, which is very dangerous.
The words of Paul in 1Corinthian 14:34-35 kept ringing in my mind. It says "Women should remain silent in the churches....If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church." So that part of "go and ask your husband at home" caught my attention. If the husband is not sound in the knowledge of the word of God, what will he teach the wife and the children at home?
Some men cannot even lead the family altar every morning with their family, yet they want the children to grow up and become an angel, and they want the women to respect them. And I remember one of Pastor Adeboye's messages on marriage that i listened too recently; he said "men always draw your wife up spiritually as you grow up in faith. He made an illustration that" if a man is on step 10 on the ladder of spiritual growth and he falls, he will only stop when he gets to the step his wife is.
So If the wife happens to be on step 9, the wife will hold him from falling further, but if the wife is on step 2, that is where he will end up, from step 10 to 2" There will continue to be a dysfunction in many home until the man takes his position as the spiritual head of his home. God didn't call the man the head just to provide for the family and boss everyone around alone, he is the head so that he can reflect God's image.
He is the head so that he can protect his family spiritually and physically. But the devil has succeeded in deceiving everyone, especially in the church to believe that the woman is the spiritual head. They only organise programs for women and they teach them to be prayerful, and they boost them up spiritually, teach them to be submissive and all that, which is good and commendable.
But you hardly organise men's program, you hardly hear anything like men taking up the spiritual mantle as the head of his home. If the head is not functioning spiritually what will be the fate of the other body part. As a man and as the head, you are suppose to be the priest, prophet and pastor of your home, don't let your wife take your place, don't let any other man in the form of a pastor take your rightful position.
Draw closer to God and draw your family closer too,
and if you are still single, this is the best time to start a close relationship with God and grow up spiritually. Your wife and children should be able to drink from your spiritual cistern and run to you anytime they need spiritual help. To us single sisters, if he can't be your head spiritually, please just walk away
N.B This is not to say women shouldn't pray or shouldn't be spiritual, but to emphasis that men are the spiritual head. This doesn't mean women shouldn't respect their husband irrespective of whether he is the spiritual head or not, once you are married, you are married, and everyone must do their own responsibility no matter the situation.
Shalom!!!
For the husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church.
Princess Janet
Princess Janet is an aspiring marriage counselor, relationship coach, inspirational writer, story writer, blogger, teacher of the word of God, a petroleum geoscientist by profession, a researcher and lecturer in one of the foremost institution in Nigeria. She is also the author of the novel called Jasmine that have inspired many people across the country.
princessjanet2019@gmail.com